“Paul? Is that you?”

“hello, yes? And you are… Monica!?? Is that you?”

“Yes I almost didn’t recognize you though, you know ….the shaved head! Pretty radical change really.”

“Yeah well, it was starting to get a little thin anyway. No point trying to hide it anymore.”

“…and the moustache? Really??”

“Why not? I like it.”

“Not really a look I approve of…..”

“Some things haven’t changed then. Who’s on the receiving end of your hallowed judgements these days?”

“Oh you know, just some strapping young lad I’ve managed to lure in with my girlish charms.”

“You’ve snagged yourself another toyboy then?”

“He is young but with that comes the virility and stamina a woman of my tastes requires to keep things……..interesting.”

“Oh so that was it then – lacking in stamina was I?”

“God no Paul! I didn’t mean it that way, just that in the end…..”

“yeah lets not go over all that again. So where is your new beau?”

“Don’t worry, he’s meeting me here. You’ll get your chance to gape soon enough. On that matter, you must have some little piece of skirt hidden away around here. Let’s see, which one is it…..?’

“Monica…….”

“no, no, let me guess……we can have a little game to pass the time while I’m waiting.”

The brunette in the corner? A bit plane Jane for you – or are you playing safe now?”

“Monica!”

“come on now. This is fun. Look! Yes that one with the chest! Bit gaudy but… Oh God! That laugh! No, you couldn’t possibly! That’s just wrong in so many ways! Did you? Are you….?”

“No monica look….”

“you did have a thing for little…..”

“Monica, I’ve changed…”

“Yes I can see that dear”

“I don’t just mean in appearance”

“Oh yes…..?……..Now, where is that damn boy?”

“I’ve changed my…..preferences too….”

“You’re not going to tell me you’ve finally come out are you?”

“Well, now that you mention it…”

“Paul, I was joking. I didn’t mean……Ah! Here is! Over here darling! Now come on Paul, come and meet Harold.”

“Harold?!”

“Yes, a little old fashioned I admit, but I think it suits him.”

“…..em…Monica….”

“Paul this is… Harold? What’s wrong? Are you struck dumb all of a sudden. Say hello to Paul. He’s an old……Okay what’s going on here…..Let me in on the joke!”

“Monica…….I think….we all.. need to talk!”